REBEL PETS THREATEN TO TAKE TO THE STREETS

Sources report that pets throughout the country are planning to stage protests to demand the overthrow of irresponsible pet owners (hereafter “IPO”) who use them, abuse them, neglect them, and discard them.  The pets will campaign for IPO to reform their appalling behavior and become a humane people to be recognized as “guardians” rather than “owners.”  They want to be treated NOT as possessions but as members of a family with in-house privileges, regular rooming, vet checks, and a commitment to be cared for their entire lives. 

The pets, who have no choice as to where they will live or with whom, are distraught that many of their friends are killed on a daily basis in pounds where they are often dumped by IPO, and they, too, fear the same outcome.  To learn that their senior friends are dumped after being loyal and loving to IPO for many years and are then replaced with a puppy, is another grievance the pets plan to focus on.  Other grievances include IPO dumping a pet because they are ●“having a baby;” ●“moving tomorrow to a place that won’t allow pets;” ●“suddenly allergic;” and the excuses go on and on.  In addition, they would like an explanation as to why some IPO advertise that “they need to find a loving home for their wonderful pet.”  That in and of itself seems to imply that the IPO has been providing a less than desirable home.

Amid reports of IPO not sterilizing their pets and allowing them to breed, thereby creating an abundance of unwanted animals that will likely be dumped in the pound, the protestors will demand that IPO stop their careless disregard for life and recognize that they are one of the main reasons over-populated pounds are killing innocent pets.  They want IPO to know that, in most cases, they are the ones responsible for their pets’ deaths.

The pets claim the assembly will be lawful, but if their aim to convince IPO to change their mindset and become humane is contested, the pets may be compelled to continue to woof-it-up until their demands are met.  They are appealing to the younger and older humanitarians, who may witness atrocities against pets, to help enforce humane conduct.

On a final note, the sources say that, because there are animals throughout the world facing similar challenges and being forced to exist under horrendous conditions, local groups will be monitoring the state of affairs and will respond accordingly if conditions do not noticeably improve, so help them doG.